How to get rid of this....

first of all, wanna wish Merry Christmas!!HoHoHo
just wishing either you celebrate it or not, because we are 1Malaysia...Malaysian celebrate all festivals...sambut nda sambut tetap cuti....rite??hahaha...that's why i heart this country...

btw, thats not the topic i want to share here...its about how to get rid this kind of attitude..."DENDAM"...seriously,im kind of person who has a grudge...i know its bad, ive tried to turn the other way but yet i can't...i still feel it..it still there and whispered to me "one day i will take the revenge!!!...we'll see..."...holly shitt...

for those who messed up with me, i'll never forget dude...even if you said sorry,i just can't forget it...and that attitude force me to payback...it highly erroneous kind of act, but for the sake of satisfaction im having the intention and will do it...if not now, maybe one day...i do this retribution only to people or person who messed up with me real badly...you are in my list!!...

i can be your good friend but the worst enemy!!!
add me as a friend or enemy....

fb punya servay

Nzc took the KAJIAN DR FADZILAH KAMSAH TENTANG SIFAT MANUSIA quiz and the result is

APRIL
Sangat aktif dan dinamik Cepat bertindak buat keputusan tetapi cepat menyesal Sangat menarik dan pandai manjakan diri Punya daya mental yang sangat kuat Suka diberi perhatian Sangat diplomatik (pandai memujuk ). Berkawan dan pandai menyelesaikan masalah orang Sangat ber...ani dan tiada perasaan takut Suka adventure, pengasih, penyayang, sopan santun dan pemurah Emosi cepat terusik Try control the emotion Kecenderungan bersifat dendam Agresif, kelam kabut untuk membuat keputusan Kuat daya ingatan Gerak hati yang sangat kuat Pandai mendorong diri sendiri dan memotivasikan orang lain Berpenyakit di sekitar kepala dan dada Sangat cemburu dan terlalu cemburu.


hahaha...

guys, you have to understand...

Women wish to be loved without a why or a wherefore; not because they are pretty, or good, or well-bred, or graceful, or intelligent, but because they are THEMSELVES.

Terima Kaseh Labuan!!!

lama gila uda nda blogging...huhu...so much things to share but bz bha...nda berkesempatan blogging...lgpun mls jua mo tulis2 ni...idea ndada...ani tah mun baru mulih dari labuan ani...baru jua 4 hari stay sana uda terinfluence berkurapak brunei...hahahahaha...

ok2, back to normal...aku baru balik dari labuan bha ni...p wedding kazen aku...so much fun theree!!..best gila laa...aku ni udala jenis nda suka p kenduri2 kawen ni kan...mls bha, ramai urang...tp pi kenduri kazen sendiri ni, best pula...hehe...check out some of the photos i taken...







itu ja la...mls pula mengupload ni...tenet slow...kin malas toll!!...
btw kenapa terima kaesh labuan???...sebabbb, dompet aku HILANG d LABUAN!!!!!!!waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa::::::::(((
IC, Driving license ngan Kad bank hilangg...duit pown agak bnyk la ketika ituu sbb plan mo borong coklatt...huhuhu...duit nda kesah pula hilang, tp kekeceewaan nda dpt beli coklat tu yg tak ble blahh...ternanges juga laa...haiyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....ic, lesen tu nda pa la hilang...hahahahaha...coklat tu penting!!:D

tp uda juga aku wat laporan polis d labuan...maybe nnt aku p urus wat ic ngan lesen tu...bank card claim ja d bank... tp tu ja la, takut jg ic aku disalahgunakan oleh org yg jumpa tu...dia p wat loan2 bank ka nnt...beli sim register ka...kang dtg bil ribu2 tmpt aku...nahhhhh...sepa jawab tu....huhuhu....tp mudah mudahan nda laa...insya allah~~ :(

k la...mo p men game lu...daaaa

i soon made up my mind........

I don't know what to do,
I can't decide if I love you.
You said you love me, but yet you leave me
I don't know what to believe.
You told me we were through,
Because there were so many conclusions that you drew.
You didn't do anything wrong, I know we didn't last long.
You’re begging for me back, you say our love is on track.
but chance wasted AGAIN!!

You give your love and honest
I wonder if it’s true,
After all you’ve been through,
Thought you were someone I knew
Thought you were different
But yet the same

Deceived and confused
Taken for granted and used
No more trust left to give
Is there any way I can forgive
I don’t act like before
Because you taught me an important lesson,
a lesson above all.
Do something not to wait
Fix the things you destroyed
Before it’s too late
If you can't deal with it
You’re not worth it…

Yang Terbaik - Marsha

Ku selalu memikirkan tentang kita
Apa punya harapan yang dikejar
Kerna aku masih penuh rasa ragu
Melihat kau seperti tak bersungguh

Jika kau mencinta
Berikanlah kurasa

Korus
Diriku dah berikan yang terbaik
Dan bukannya nak mengungkit
Siapa benar siapa salah
Siapa menang siapa kalah

Dah berikan yang terbaik
Memaksa hati merisik
Mungkin kau bukan teman hidup
Yang terbaik untukku

Memang benar ku amat menciantai mu
Dan harapkan di sana pun begitu
Tetapi kau tak luahkan perasaan
Apa lagi memberikan ku kasih

Jika kau mencinta
Berikanlah kurasa

Diriku dah berikan yang terbaik
Dan bukannya nak mengungkit
Siapa benar siapa salah
Siapa menang siapa kalah

Dah berikan yang terbaik
Memaksa hati merisik
Mungkin kau bukan teman hidup
Yang terbaik untukku

Bad feeling...

What to do when it feels
What to do when it does not heals
Every sweet moment of life it steals
But heart has only love where it deals.

Words & hearts should be handled with care...
4 words when spoken & hearts when broken
are the hardest things 2 repair.

no effort to heal,
just the same thing
and even worst than before..
what is that mean?

do i make a wrong decision again..
that's why i hate making decision..
it always not be like it suppose to be
no change, there's pain
its not turn the way i imagine
chances wasted all over again...
i think i should stop giving chance
to whom not appreciate it...
to whom just ignore it...
to whom that dont even care about it...

in consideration...

Typing test...

hehehe....lawan jgn tak lawan...ade berani?...

109 perkataan

Speed test

ni baru siket ni...blom betul2 lagi...hahaha...riak lak..

What's wrong??

haihh...mostly post aku suma post depress, tension, emo etc....if im not mistaken since august i think...maybe cz that problem la...made my happiness fade away....huhuhu...this is all my fault and it comes from me...i made this trouble, no one else to be blame...i myself made my life so0o0oo chaos and lonely...org tua2 ckp, penyesalan tiada gunanya...benda dah jadi, nk buat camana lagi...klu la boleh ulang semula masa...huhu...n kalau la malang itu berbau....

kdg2 aku tido, dan berharap agar bila aku bangon semula, semua ini hanya mimpi buruk semata...tapi tidakk...semuanya berlaku, for reall!!!...huhu...ntah la..skrg aku mcm dah tak kesah most part in my life...im lost....exam is around da corner...i dont even care!!..i do care alot but there some other things i have to think about...that trouble that distract my mind...things that not settle yet till now...huhuhu...aku dah tak kesah dah pasal studies aku ni, camana mo buat??!!..huhu...maybe cz i mess up from the beginning....and i dont know where to start back...??

time2 mcm ni la, aku perlukan kekuatan, semgt, teman, pendapat dsbnya....tapi aku tak jumpa smua tu...hidup kat sini, mcm yg aku citer dulu..."kau2 aku2"...ada jg la aku kongsi2 with certain2 people ttg mslh aku ni...kurang sket la...tp ntah la...aku habis fkrn uda, apa mo buat...sometimes im crying, no one know..."nobody care if ur life is miserable, so u must as well be happy"...but i just cant pretend im happy....:::( ...benda paling susah dilakukan di dunia ini bg aku adalah "pretending"...pretending that u ok, ur fine which actually ur not,pretending ur not in trouble, no problems which u have tonnes of probs...but i have to do so...i dont have any choices....

seriously, takda semgt nk study dah...hilang nta kemana....i just want to have fun!!!...forget all my troubles...huhu...tak tau la pointer for this sem apa nk jadi...aku try apa yg termampu dgn keadaan aku mcm ni...

Doakan la kejayaan aku k..... :)

Lumrah hidopp...

hurmmm...lumrah hidup student U....tgk org kapel, dia pun sebok2 la mo cari kapel....especially lelaki la...bukan nk mengata, tapi siyesly berlaku...mcm time foundation dulu, ramai siott lelaki desprate nk kapel2....lepas tackle2 awek ni, tak dpt boleh pula tackle2 awek len...yg tak bole blah tu, that girls rumate plak tu...hahaha...kantoi desprate la tu....then, mcm teda istilah berkawan antara lelaki ngan pompuan kat sini...care sket,uda anggap lain....ngadu2 sket dah rasa special...dah rasa jatuh cinta...pastu bila ckp2 ngan lelaki len, jeless,mrh pastu menjauhkan diri secara tiba2...bila tny napa, senyap...pelik gue...ni pehal plak ni...hoho...ada satu kes, lelaki dah ada awek, rapat2 ngan pompuan len saja nk test, nk cari kot2 ada yg better than his current awek....klu dah dpt, kapel...samada menduakan atau clash ngan yg satu...haiyaaa...ni lagi teruk la...tak paham aku...

tu kes lelaki la...tak dinafikan, tak suma lelaki mcm tu...tp yg aku knl, suma mcm tu...hahahaha....aku ni pula jenis open, layan ja suma lelaki...tak tau pula perangai dorg cam tu.....hihi...lantak la...

hurmm...talking about frens...aku ni suka berkorban tuk org...bukan mo minta dibalas la,tapi at least hargai my pengorbanan...kdg2 org tu minta tlg, aku bz ni...bnyk keja aku mo buat...tapi takpa, cian dia dlm susah...minta tlg....aku pun tlg la....tapi some other day, dia buat aku rasa sgt nyesal tlg dia....bukan apa la, bila time aku minta tlg balik, dia refuse to help, ckp ada keja la, bz n watsoeva...i feel like SH*T!!!!...tak mengenang jasa tol laaa...wat penat aku ja tlg ko dulu...

lagi satu, aku tak suka tgk org sedih2 o boring n rasa tak hepi...aku try la cheer them up....wat lawak bodo ka, ajak kluar jln la...ni pun berkorban ni, pi menjatuhkan pride meminjam kreta org len semata2 mo bawa dorg jln supaya feel better n rasa hepi sket....its ok la, biarla aku tak dpt papa yg penting tgk dorg happy is more than enuf...but when it comes to my turn, bila aku sedih, ada mslh, tak hepi all those thing, where r they???!!!...Fucking asshole, they bloody shit...teda sorg pun membantu, help me to cheer up, klu tak dpt bw kluar at least make me feel better...talk to me...ni tak, masing2 wat hal masing2....menyesall gila aku...huhu

talking about helping in studies...slalu aku tlg, bg tiru assgnmt (yg actually aku pun tiru org len...hehehe) supaya dorg takyah susah2...tp bila satu hari aku pun tak siap asgnmt, dorg cari source tmpat lain...yg sakit hati bila dorg tak share pown...dpt jwpn sendiri2...bila aku tnya "napa tak gtaw?" dorg simply ckp "laaa,tak dtg bilik"...amb0o0o0o0o0iiiii, selama ni aku bg tgk asgmnt, aku yg p kat dorg mengoffer....bila tak bg, ckp aku penting diri...yg dorg tu???shit!!...once again, menyesalll...

banyak benda lagii sebnrnya, klu mo crita suma, susah la...huhu...yg penting suma wat aku rasa menyesallllll sggtt2...kadang2 rasa, "napa la aku bodoh sgt mo pi tlg org mcm tu"...tp tu la, bila aku tak tlg org ckp aku jt, sombong,etc...haihh...then i conclude la, org2 sini ni hidup "kau2 aku2"...senang sama2, susah lain2 la....so, better aku wat senang n susah sendiri2 la...walaupun agak susah aku supaya tak tlg org, tp aku cubaa...untuk berkata "tidak"...lantak dorg la nk ckp aku sombong ke, jahat ke, penting diri o watsoeva...itu penilaian dorg...mcm la dorg tu baguss sgtt!!..time2 nk minta tlg, sibuk2 ngaku2 kawan...buduss...

once again, not everybody like that la...tapi, almost all yg aku kenal, mcm tu....hohoho....nak wat camanee....i just dont belong here...none of them yg sekepala ngan aku....suma like hell!!!...whatever la, yg penting i live my life happily now....without thinking about others tooooo muchh...